_dusttcdusk:

the violence she’d taken against her son surprises even herself. and if he weren’t so set on incurring her wrath, perhaps she would have been horrified by her actions. but every word out of his mouth only adds fuel to the fire already raging. how stupid had she been to have thought she could ever change him? time and time again he had proven that he couldn’t. or if he did, that he didn’t truly want to. 

‘ are you really so oblivious? or is this a willful blindness, ky’lar? i opened my house to you, took you in as my own child, cared and loved you. you shit on all of it. ’ hands ball into fists at her side, emotions overwhelming her. perhaps this is what she should have done with cain a long time ago. maybe then she wouldn’t be caught in this seemingly endless cycle. ‘ enough is enough. i can’t keep doing this anymore, ky’lar. yours is not the only life i have to consider these days. ’ 

_{’ have you ever stopped to think that maybe i can’t be contained? i was born – created, what have you messy. ’ it was more than that though; ky had convinced himself he was worth nothing more times he could count. hell, he’d tried to put and end to his existence a few times as well. still, something had stopped him each of those times, and he doubted it would change.}

_{he tried to be decent, tried to contain his urges, and things turned out ten times worse. he couldn’t even think straight most days, and he still got nowhere. as much as he tried… he didn’t amount to nothing. a reason to why he stopped; no more attempting to be decent. no more attempting to change. no more getting nowhere at all.} 

_{he wasn’t oblivious. he just didn’t care – not anymore. not when everything he did or touched turned into absolute shit. all he wanted was some childish recognition to know he was going in the right direction, but instead, ky received ( in his mind ) nothing.}

_{‘ i never had a mother, hell, all i had was people telling me to stay out of the way. ’ not to mention pose for pictures and not ask questions – lucifer damn it he wished he didn’t remember any of that shit. ‘ i try and try and for what? nothing! you think i want to keep on going on like this?  i don’t.  ’}