‘ why do you seek me out? why do you come here? ‘ val’shara’s voice rose, bitter with anger, with a lack of love from anyone in her life. ‘ you come here, you ask me these questions and i answer you honestly, and still, you denounce my every word. there is no point to having even said them. ‘ she felt the rage boiling in her blood, as though she could almost hear it bubble under her skin.

‘ you will get somewhere if you stop defeating yourself. if you stop existing just to enrage your father, if you live for yourself and stop questioning. ‘ val’shara exhaled a shaky breath, fingers clenching, unclenching. 

‘ i don’t know what more to do for you. i have loved you since i brought you into this world, and it has meant nothing. ‘

_{‘the moment i… attempting living for myself is the moment someone fucks it up.’ a truthful statement as  a hand ran through his hair. ‘i enrage blackheart due to the fact i can – my existence does that enough and yet here i am.’ his nose scrunched up as if he was disgusted with the entire situation. ‘you speak of defeating myself and yet i’m doing the only thing i can.’}

_{admitting weakness wasn’t in the cards. the moment he did, someone – be it her or otherwise – would latch onto it. he’d been in the situation in the past and it was why opening up to anyone was worthless. he’d never do it. not to her. not to himself. and not to anyone. not unless he absolutely trusted or deemed them worthy.}

_{‘i feel less than most; more than some,’ he said, glancing to the ground. ‘sometimes i wish it was better if i didn’t remember at all.’ he couldn’t – not of what most would deem important. childhood memories came out as one big blur and he chose to forget what he remembered. he chose to forget anything that was painful or proved he wasn’t just an anger filled being with no end. he made this personal hell and he didn’t feel like leaving it.}

_{‘— you say it means nothing.’ a pause. ‘it doesn’t – you’re wasting your breath.’}