Author: Ky'lar Richardson

the house was enormous; it had belonged to her family since long, long ago — the records of the inhabitants were kept somewhere, and it stretched far back, into the tenth, perhaps ninth centuries. back when the humans had primitive kings and still worshiped pagan gods. it had survived for eons, and would no doubt outlive val’shara. whether ky’lar would take up it’s haunted mantle was something to be seen. 

he didn’t have to come find her; he could’ve slipped out and none would see him but the ghosts — and they wouldn’t have relayed the information. but he’d probably stumble on her in the library, where another fireplace crackled with life and flames, under a large painting of her mother, kylar’s grandmother.

_{ky knew he could have slipped out –  maybe should have. the only problem was he didn’t feel like it was needed. no, he may have been quite distant from reality these days, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be decent.}

_{he’d never been into the library before; books may have been his forte once, but he rarely spent time reading them. usually, he avoided them all together aside from a few choice books he’d been dying to get his hands on.}

_{he walked in with his arms calmly behind his back, resisting a comment about how he was going to leave soon, as he moved to stand beside her. no words were actually needed. no, as  much as he’d want to say anything? the most he could do was stand in silence – just to see what the outcome would be.} 

she often wonders why she bothers. she was nothing more than a vessel to any of them — to her father, she brought an heir into the world. for blackheart, it was a moment’s indiscretion he never thought twice about. and for her son, her existence was simply a means of entry into the world, she didn’t factor in at all. 

val’shara looked visibly defeated, deflated, and the woman in black turned away from him again. he didn’t love her. he never had. were demons incapable? was she? she was only half-demon, born of a loveless marriage. her mother was not unlike her, the two of them living banshees, haunting this house, like ghosts. the men in their lives wanted nothing, needed nothing, and would not care if they vanished altogether.

what little was left whole of his mother’s heart had broken again, into impossibly smaller pieces, and tears lined the bright black of her eyes. her chest ached, and for the first time in her long, long life, she felt alone. unloved, unwanted, and alone.

‘ then you should go. and like your father, you should never return. ‘

_{it wasn’t the first time – nor the last time he was compared to his father. he stated -his truth- and things just got more complicated. a reason to why he distanced himself from everyone in the first place. no one ever wanted to hear what he had to say.} 

_{when they did, they dismissed it, and told him to leave – sometimes even forcing him to get out. maybe he should just have stayed away; would have been so much better in his mind. at least then he’d actually not have to deal with anyone.}

_{‘just like everyone else.’ a simple statement as he rubbed at his temples for a few moments. ‘dismissing me as nothing more than his son.’ or maybe that was just how he personally saw it. still, if she wanted him gone? he’d leave – another person who didn’t want him around. not that he could truly blame them honestly.}

_{‘nothing more than being exactly like him; you don’t have to say it twice,” he said, sliding his arms behind his back. ‘i’m leaving.’}

‘ because you are blackheart’s son. ‘ she moved quietly towards the fire, contemplating how great the pain would be if she simply threw herself into it’s yawning maw — this great old house had the kind of fireplaces that a grown person could walk into and stand up. ‘ and his name spells out his nature, and yours. ‘

‘ i try because you are my son, and if a mother gives up on her son, what is she? i know i am the only one with a heart, even if it is cold and half the size it used to be. i try, because i know nothing else. ‘ swallowing thickly. ‘ i know it means nothing to you. ‘

_{at first there was anger; perpetual rage that coursed through his veins as his eye shot a glare in her direction. he was nothing like his father. the name was nothing more than a name. it was meaningless to him. why would she even assume something like that? ky was many things, but in his mind, he’d never be like him – maybe similar, but never exactly like him. that was impossible.}

_{‘it doesn’t spell out my nature.’ his tone burned icy hot; soothing, but with a rage behind it that would burn anything it came in contact with. ‘not now, not today, and ever. blackheart may be my father, demon blood may course through my veins, but you know what? i’ll never be like him.’ hands formed into tight fists. ‘i won’t sell out just to have some fancy title and position.’ or if he did, it would be due to his own choice… even though it was rare that anyone ever listened to him.}

_{‘i know what i’m capable of and what i’ll do to make sure i don’t turn out like them.’ the only problem was, he was closing himself off to everyone – even himself. eventually, there would be no way to come back from this.} 

_{however, there was a slight pause as his rage cooled – if only for a moment. ‘you think i don’t care… maybe you’re right.’ just not completely. ‘i don’t care about anything… since i can remember… i never have been able to.’}

‘ you respect your mother. she doesn’t have to earn shit from you. ‘ she could almost hear it in his voice. ‘ you don’t want that. ‘ she stated it clearly, simply, though colour her ass confused. ‘ explain it to me, ky, because i’m at a fucking loss. you don’t really care about val’shara, you give no weight to her advice, her opinions, or her general existence. and yet, you don’t want to cut her out of your life like your father did. ‘ she looked at him for a long, hard moment. ‘ what is it you want? ‘ he would never tell her the truth, his truth, but it was worth a shot.

_{that was the question wasn’t it? what did ky’lar richardson truly want? he could have said a thousand things; power, recognition, and maybe even a place to call his own. none of them were truly accurate, but at the same time, they were. ky’s mind was a scramble of flashes at times; especially when it came to his past.}

_{‘i don’t care about anyone; you truly think she would be any different?’ the question (for what it was worth) was posed due to the fact he actually wanted to know what she’d say in return. ky already knew he wasn’t in her good graces and there was no way to change that. so, he might as well tell his version of the truth.} 

_{‘i’m not human, i’m not a demon, and while i may be her son?’ something he was hesitant to admit, but did so given the circumstances. still, he leaned forward. ‘i just don’t see where i’d ever fit in.’ it was more than simply that – ky didn’t believe he’d fit in. not with the delusions that he figured they were thinking of; a dutiful son with the ability to do more than fake caring about whatever his mother had to say. the very thought of it sickened him.}

_{however, he still doubted his own opinion mattered; it never did in his mind. they’d do whatever they wanted – ky’s thoughts on the matter was just a formality. ‘ then again,’ a slight grin pulled at his lips. ‘if it’s anything i’ve learned… i do my best when i’m locked into a deal.’}