an eye roll. he hated holidays. hated them enough that he locked himself inside a hotel room to avoid them. actually, he did that often, but that was quite honestly besides the point. “uh-huh,” he said, leaning back in the chair. “just leave me out of it – you know how much i despise holidays.”
“you aren’t quite invincible, so i’m pretty sure i would still be freaking out a little bit.” jessica couldn’t imagine what would happen to her if something happened to him. her feelings ran deep and she really didn’t care how messed up it was considering where they had started. and if it was because of his own stupid doing because he couldn’t sit still without kicking the shit out of someone? well, that would be worse.
shaking her head, she was tempted to make a comment about him not wanting her there to cheer him on – but jess knew watching him get beat up would only wind up with her deciding that she needed to put a stop to it which wasn’t good for anyone. pursing her lips, she looked up at him. “does something besides joining fight club bring you any sort of happiness? cause really – taking me to a steakhouse is quite the opposite.”
“do you really want my answer to that?” his tone came off slightly more rude than intended, but ky wasn’t in the mood to correct himself. more so when he didn’t believe (at the moment at least) it was absolutely needed or even necessary.
“if i want to… join a highly illegal fight club? i’ll do it – just be glad it’s on earth and not somewhere else.” If it was in hell, ky knew right away that the wounds he’d suffer would be far more… painful, but earth was good enough for him. he liked it better here anyways in all reality. “so, you can stay or come with me. either way? it’s your choice.”
arm protectively wrapped over her stomach as though she hadn’t just found out that she was pregnant, jessica remained quiet for a long while. at least he seemed a little bit open to the idea of keeping the baby safe. she was left with a lot of questions but didn’t know what was important to ask or what would even have an answer. “but maybe they’ll be able to control themselves. we can’t worry about everything that could happen before they are even fully developed.” he knew enough about himself and his own story to worry and she knew that, but she also knew that this baby would have a better support system than he had.
“i’m sorry this happened… but we’ll figure it out, okay?” she wondered how the whole demon thing was going to affect the pregnancy, but she guessed they had time for that conversation. right now, she really wanted to relax and eat some of her feelings away. “we have time.”
“i know what i was capable of.” at least, when he finally managed to tap into what he could do. it was, at first, amusing, but it slowly turned terrifying to most. ky didn’t care – once he did, but that was only at the beginning. he looked for ways to end it all – to no avail of course.
sometimes, he wished that things could have been different; that he knew then what he knew now. it would have been so simple to change the outcomes of somethings, but that was no longer possible. he made his choices and now… he had to live with them. “If our child is even… a silver like me… it won’t be pretty. it never is.”
“they’ve been just as destructive with leaders. maybe if they get someone that doesn’t have their head up their ass like michael in charge they might stand a chance to not be more destructive than humanity.”
of course, she doubted any of her siblings were truly up to the task. so many of them had become corrupt with free will, while others still blindly followed whatever anyone told them. but, she supposed that she was just as guilty at becoming corrupt in a way that truly mattered at one time or another. “ready to attack anything that sticks up its nose at the newest plan they’ve been duped into.”
“angels are worse than demons; they’re destructive and follow a singular order. they’d destroy all of humanity if it meant pleasing whoever lead them.” he was about to say god, but he didn’t even believe he existed – maybe at one point the being did, but not now.
“if they could be… controlled, it would benefit everyone.” what he implied was close to enslavement in reality, but ky didn’t care – not really at least. if it meant ridding himself – or, rather, demons of a problem? so be it.in his mind… it was completely worth it.
“Scared of a little fire, Jess?” He knew she would be, but truth be told… he didn’t care. No, Ky would go through -with- or with-out her. Either way? He was doing this. “I’ll be fine.”
“i’ve only heard small things about your past, so i don’t know what there is to talk about.” but she also knew that it wasn’t good to keep everything bottled up. ky had become the way he was for a reason, emotions that she was sure he hadn’t dealt with in the right ways. she had also learned that pushing people to talk about it usually pushed them in the opposite direction, so she made peace with being in the dark until and if he wanted to talk about anything.
“and it’s rude to ask, isn’t it? think we were past the small talk stage of our relationship from the second you walked up to me.” there wasn’t a moment where she felt like they would casually open up about their families. though her checking up on hers at least four times a year wouldn’t go unnoticed by him. “we all got our own shit… and we have no obligation to talk to others about it.”
“it’s only rude to humans,” he said, arms folding across his chest. “asking may get you an answer, but if it’s truth or otherwise? well, that’s up for debate.” at least in his mind. the truth could be changed or even altered until it became unrecognizable. his own past, for what he knew of it, was in tatters, and he pieced together everything in a way he saw fit.
for the point of it being accurate or otherwise could be debatable but he doubted the entire truth would ever come out. if it ever did, he’d deal with it, and yet… what was truth to someone who could easily make his own? either way, a slight grin pulled at his lips for a few moments. “If you wanted to know… all you had to do was mention it.”
“only because you haven’t taken a second to truly consider the others.” maybe to many, the baby was nothing but a ball of cells until it really started to develop, but to jess, it was a baby. their baby. maybe she should have been more careful in preventing this, but she wasn’t one to dwell upon the past, rather find things to fix the future instead of mull over ways a situation could have been prevented. “i can’t harm them – and if you’ll be a threat to our baby i’ll find a way to keep you away too.” determined, though the few times she had gotten frustrated and locked him out with wards, he had been able to find her without much trouble, but none of it had been driven by maternal instinct before. quirking a brow, she looked him over with an uncertain shine in her eyes. “—— what do you mean? keep the demon part of them locked up? could you even do that?”
“there are many things that i’m truly capable of,” he said bluntly. “some of them are more… extreme than others.” it was possible he could do it, but even ky didn’t know how far it would go. part of of him wanted to give them a choice; to chose for themselves what they wanted to be, but… that was impossible. ky knew the dangers; knew what it would be like to feel alone. to have a family, but never feel like you truly belonged. maybe if he just knew… things would have been easier on him, but he didn’t. “if need be… i could seal it away. make sure that it never surfaces.” a risky ploy, but even ky knew that emotions were what originally brought out everything. still, he didn’t want anyone else going through what he had…. he didn’t want them to have to deal with killing someone by accident, and then start to enjoy the feeling.
still, there wasn’t much more he could do. she was dead set in her ways and if she wanted them alive? so be it, but ky wasn’t going to risk the entire world – no, his entire world crumbling down around him. it was just too painful… not to mention that he already had more than enough enemies. he didn’t need any coming after his children. “it’s possible, yes, but… i don’t know the consequences.”
“pretty sure me frantically stitching you up and using nearly two boxes of gauze isn’t in anyone else’s definition of the word relaxing.” but truthfully, she didn’t mind playing nurse as long as he wasn’t in serious danger from his wounds. it reminded her of what her life could have been like, though she hadn’t necessarily been on the path to trauma work. “who do you plan on fighting?”
“i can heal, jess.” or, so he thought he could. truth be told, ky didn’t know the extent of what he could heal through. he knew it was a lot – far more than a human. he’d lost more blood in his life than most people had in their bodies. even when he was a child… he always knew he wasn’t the same as everyone else. though, rarely did he show it; hiding away and being perfect for photo’s and dinners or even events was what he did best.
it was a mask he wore for years – even now he was still wearing it. still hiding behind who he presented himself to be and not who he was. truth be told, he never thought he’d grow out of it, and never thought it mattered. not anymore at least. whatever he was now… it was beyond human, but not quite demon. no, he hadn’t truly given into that side of himself yet… even if every day it seemed inevitable. “— i don’t know. someone. maybe find an underground fighting ring. i know there are a few around… shouldn’t be too hard to get in.”
“right when we leave, huh? how romantic.” she chuckles, though she certainly wouldn’t complain about it. “if we’re going to go let me have some steak, then we gotta do some stuff you like too.”
“what i’d like is a fight. a real one.” and of course he’d get it. ky always did get what he wanted – one way or another. that was a simple bit that never could be denied. “after that? well…we could have a relaxing evening where you fuss over all the wounds i receive.”
when he reacts so aggressively, a switch flips in jess that allows her to think more clearly rather than flip her lid and yell the first things that come to her mind which happened more than she liked to admit when she was truly upset. the blonde could easily qualify as needing anger management classes and it was a part of herself that she wanted to work on but completely sucked at, since her emotions were involved. shaking her hand, she reaches out and clasps her hand around his fist that had collided with the wall, squeezing it. “ky… i really don’t want to fight… i don’t… i know why this is hard for you and i’m – sorry that i’m not being more receptive to that right now.” she bites her lip, a tear slipping down her cheek. she can’t even fathom killing something before it had a chance, even if most considered that she only had some cells growing inside of her. “but don’t you see…? history doesn’t have to repeat itself. i know you don’t want this, but this – your solution – isn’t the only option.”
“it’s the only viable option,” he said bluntly. “more importantly, it’s a threat.” maybe not, but ky wasn’t willing to take that chance. not this time, but he would give her the benefit of the doubt. maybe the child would be kind… maybe it wouldn’t be as angry as he was. maybe he’d be a better person due to this. the only problem was he didn’t think it was possible. not really at least. ky wasn’t made that way. nor did he have the capability to truly care. he could try – sure, but really caring? he wasn’t capable of such a thing. all he had was his masks and he was losing whatever was left of his humanity by the day. “however,” a deep breath was taken in and let out slowly. “i’ll do my best to try to restrain whatever… comes of them.” meaning that ky was willing to let the child live, but only if he made sure whatever… abilities of the supernatural sort were either contained or eliminated.
Hellfirebound 