His words would have her believe he was telling a story; the way the words were woven so
loosely together, imbuing a detached sense of self, he could have been a skald
regaling her with the exploits of another. Yet the skalds recited only the most
heroic deeds of gods and men — they boasted the strongest and the bravest,
unapologetically exaggerated as mead flowed generously into the evenings. His words, however, sounded more… tired.
Self-deprecating.
“No,” said Idunn
after a moment, a soft furrow set in her brow as she considered long and hard
the concept. Faith had never been a question for her. She was born among the
divine, born into the fate the Norns had decided for her. How strange it was to
think there were those who remained unsure,
wandering lost and unaware of how destiny wound itself around them in
ever-changing threads. “Not idiotic. Sad.”
She made as if to reach out to the other, hesitating just
before her fingertips could make contact with the back of his hand. Nevertheless,
a smile blossomed, small and reassuring. “How does it feel now that you know
otherwise?”
“that i should have stayed in the dark.” it would have been better than knowing. it would have been much better than to know the truth. in some ways, he wished that he could have changed things, and that his innocence ( of a sort ) was never taken from him.
then again, he would have found out eventually; it was all a matter of time. if he didn’t look into things, maybe he would have been a completely different person, but the sad part was he couldn’t see himself as anything other than what he was currently. a mistake, someone who fought since it made them feel ( in short ) alive.
“that way, maybe things would have been better.” or maybe he could have avoided everything. breaking hearts and people was easy to him — like second nature. trying to keep himself together…or anyone was far more difficult than anything. a reason to why he wished he could have avoided it all… on some days at least. “ for everyone.”
“you know, funnily enough, a few years ago i would have said there was no gods, no version of the afterlife or anything like that.” a deep sigh escaped his lips. it was like talking about another life and in many instances, it was. he wasn’t the same person he was back then — if he was being quite honest with himself, he wasn’t a person at all, but that was ultimately besides the point, “seems a bit idiotic now…. to look back on it.” or, in other words, he should have known better, and maybe he wouldn’t have made as many mistakes as he had by knowing the truth.
Hellfirebound 