were he not well rehearsed in self control, the demon would have rolled his eyes and scoffed at such a flippant reply from the prince. but he’d learned how to mask his contempt and irritation towards those he dealt with. part of why he excelled at his role was his ability to stomach the most heinous of personalities. it was a dirty business with some of the worst humanity had to offer. and though he found ky’lar a nuisance by mere principle, he was far from the worst client the crossroad demon had been forced to deal with. ‘ is that right? ’ he responded, brows raised. ‘ do go on. ’
a nod was given and ky’s arms slipped behind his back with a grunt. ‘i was hoping to find information somewhere on a few… circumstances.’ of course, ky could have gone into much more detail, but he didn’t think it was needed – not at the moment at least. he’d build up to it. ‘i’ve tried finding the information myself, but things have been… complicated.’ more so he couldn’t find anything, but that was besides the point.
tongue clicks against the roof of his mouth, doing his best to shove down his contempt for prince of hell. to be fair, little of it had to do with ky’s personality. it was more to do with the fact that his position within hell had been more a matter of birthright than anything else. it was sickening to him, how easily these hellspawn brats were secured a spot at the top without having to do a damn thing at all. so in the crossroad king’s mind, ky’lar richardson would never be more than a spoiled child. but crowley wasn’t about to run his mouth about such thoughts. though he might have been callous, he did have a brain about him. ‘ ky’lar. what a pleasant surprise. did you need something? ’
‘i need many of things,’ he admitted bluntly. of course, if he admitted any of them, he’d more than likely get them with-out even having to lift a finger in return, but every once in a while… he enjoyed doing things himself. even some of his more dangerous fights he got into were done to see what he could accomplish… even if there was a major chance everyone was letting him live. still, there was no need to say anything of the sort here – not when ky knew fully well he was hated by most these days ( even if they would never fully admit it ). ‘i just didn’t come here for any of them.’ there was a pause as he shifted the subject. ‘instead, i came here to find something out… more so a family matter of sorts.’
it wasn’t the first time such a thing was said about him. nor would it honestly be the last. if anything, he’d learned long ago that he was bad, but the worst? maybe that was a fitting title for him these days.
“yeah,” he said bluntly, his head leaning back in the chair. “i know.”
every fiber in his body vessel urged him to keep banging on the door. maybe then he could get his point across better, but the truth was he wasn’t thinking straight. nor did he think that it was needed. when ky got angry… he lost all control of himself and ultimately turned violent. locking him away was the best answer – even if it was difficult to keep him contained. not to say that ky agreed; maybe one day he would, but for now… all he held was anger for his family. for how they said they cared, but then did this – they locked him away as if he was to be contained rather than actually spoke with. they wanted him gone and he was just a mistake. the thoughts that were always in his head just got louder and maybe they were all right. maybe he was just a mistake. still, there was far more than just an anger that that burnt hot; his own rage controlled him in this state and it was why he banged on the door again. he wanted out of such a limited and c o n f i n e d space even though it was the best place for him ( especially then ).
‘ it doesn’t concern you where i go. ‘ not that it mattered anyways. he was in a downward spiral and he just was starting to reach bottom. something he hoped he’d never get to, but here he was – scratching and banging against a door like the c h i l d he was. ‘ just let me outta here! ’
‘ did it ever cross that tiny mind of yours that perhaps if you were less a thorn in my side, i might be less inclined to wipe you from existence? and before you open your mouth and yammer off some witty retort, know my patience has just about reached it’s end. tread carefully. ’
‘ i’m a thorn in everyone’s side,’ he said, skipping his usual of snark filled elaboration, and cutting to the point. ‘ if you want to wipe me from existence… do it.’ ky’s arms crossed over his chest, ‘ you might even make several people happy my mother and father for instanced would be overjoyed to know i’m finally dead. not to mention my ex’s. ’
the violence she’d taken against her son surprises even herself. and if he weren’t so set on incurring her wrath, perhaps she would have been horrified by her actions. but every word out of his mouth only adds fuel to the fire already raging. how stupid had she been to have thought she could ever change him? time and time again he had proven that he couldn’t. or if he did, that he didn’t truly want to.
‘ are you really so oblivious? or is this a willful blindness, ky’lar? i opened my house to you, took you in as my own child, cared and loved you. you shit on all of it. ’ hands ball into fists at her side, emotions overwhelming her. perhaps this is what she should have done with cain a long time ago. maybe then she wouldn’t be caught in this seemingly endless cycle. ‘ enough is enough. i can’t keep doing this anymore, ky’lar. yours is not the only life i have to consider these days. ’
’ have you ever stopped to think that maybe i can’t be contained? i was born – created, what have you messy. ’ it was more than that though; ky had convinced himself he was worth nothing more times he could count. hell, he’d tried to put and end to his existence a few times as well. still, something had stopped him each of those times, and he doubted it would change.
he tried to be decent, tried to contain his urges, and things turned out ten times worse. he couldn’t even think straight most days, and he still got nowhere. as much as he tried… he didn’t amount to nothing. a reason to why he stopped; no more attempting to be decent. no more attempting to change. no more getting nowhere at all.
he wasn’t oblivious. he just didn’t care – not anymore. not when everything he did or touched turned into absolute shit. all he wanted was some childish recognition to know he was going in the right direction, but instead, ky received ( in his mind ) nothing.
‘ i never had a mother, hell, all i had was people telling me to stay out of the way. ’ not to mention pose for pictures and not ask questions – lucifer damn it he wished he didn’t remember any of that shit. ‘i try and try and for what? nothing! you think i want to keep on going on like this? i don’t. ’
‘oh, i have connections.’ quite a few of them if he was being completely honest with himself. still, he wasn’t about to admit where he got it from – especially to her, but he was attempting to be nice. well, as decent as he could be at the moment, and that was a lot all considering. ‘so, consider it a gift, and we can go from there.’
– eve
‘ and you wonder how you’ve managed to isolate yourself from those that mean the most to you. this isn’t cute, ky’lar. actions have consequences. and you seem all to keen to drag anyone down with you whenever you get into trouble. ’
‘ i fail to see the point, mother, ’ the tone he used was far from normal – to the point almost… creepy actually. ‘ i’m doing as i aways have done. just more of a… smaller scale. ‘ though, the truth of it was he kept spiraling out of control, and was very close to hitting bottom. ‘ i’ve never done nothing wrong and i will attempt to keep it that way. ’ of course, it was all a game to him – he wasn’t serious about his words. or anything really, but still, he truly believed he had done nothing wrong – not one bit. at least for the moment, but as soon as reality set in that would change. ‘ i am, after-all, getting better; i haven’t taken a life in… seventy two hours.”
Hellfirebound 