‘ i’m not asking you to be a saint here. just maybe not resort to bloodshed as your first option. ’ it was beginning to look like she might never be able to instill any sort of value for human life in ky’lar. that sort of thing did go by his very nature in some sense. perhaps it had been foolish on her part to think that how many years later nurture could overshadow his natural inclinations. ‘ ky, if i had killed everyone i felt deserved it, the world wouldn’t be anywhere near as populous. ’
‘ wouldn’t that be a good thing? ’ in his mind, it would have. to thin humanity just enough so it could see their faults. to bring them into an age of darkness where they served their betters. oh, he could taste it already, but he couldn’t let himself fall face-forward in such thoughts. to do so would mean falling back ‘bloodshed is the first option as it’s the only option.’ he tried before to avoid it, but it never worked. all he had to do was be around someone and it happened. so, why shouldn’t he give in? it only seemed to be the best course of action for him. ‘humanity is boring and used for nothing more than sport.’
pulling himself wouldn’t be easy. he knew that to start with and that it wouldn’t easy. more to the point, he knew that it was needed, and that he couldn’t stay this way forever. it wasn’t doing him any good nor was it for anyone else around him.
‘what if i can’t?’ if he tried, if he really tried, maybe ky could dig himself out of the mood he was in. he just didn’t think it was possible. nor did he truly believe it was worth it. all he had to do was control himself — keep under the radar for a few more days before doing something drastic.
that would make his mood improve tenfold, but he was trying to be better. trying and ultimately failing. he just needed to keep his head on straight. keep it up for a few more days… that was it.
as much as he wanted to stay there were dead he couldn’t. no, he wasn’t going to lie to her, but the blood on his hands, and clothing revealed much. far too much to his liking, “unfortunately,” he said, “they will survive.” of course, if he wanted them dead, they would have been, but all the same… he was trying to control himself. “— but that could be changed.”
though her home was always open to him, it seemed most days ky’lar preferred to be away from home. his comings and goings were not something she monitored all that closely. even though he had his issues, he was still an adult capable of making his own decisions. it’s not like she could exactly ground the boy. even if he did deserve it.
him vanishing for a few days, even a few weeks, was hardly uncommon. so when ky didn’t come home, she really wasn’t all that worried. truth be told, she was so focused on the chaos going on in her world that she hardly noticed that he hadn’t made contact in over a week.
the pan filled with freshly baked brownies falls to the ground with a clatter as she runs to the door to support her son. she throws his arm around her shoulders as she helps get him to the couch. it doesnt fail her notice that this is the second time she was now tending the wounds of a demon she was close to. someone was out there targeting them. who or why she couldn’t begin to figure out. but this could not be a coincidence.
‘ tell me what happened and what you need. i can’t help properly unless i know everything. ’
he stayed away as it was what he enjoyed. he liked his room cold, his bed a certain way, and he didn’t enjoy other’s peaking at his interests. ky even had several locked storage units of stuff that he collected — he just wouldn’t allow anyone else to know about them. no, he didn’t want anyone knowing he had interests that were beyond killing.
not that it mattered now — he was still in pain and still couldn’t figure out who had came after him. maybe it was for the best. maybe he didn’t need to know. it wasn’t too important, nor was it the best idea or time to voice his concerns.
not now. not when all he could do was sit on the couch and hope that the pain would be relieved just enough so he could focus. enough to explain what had happened to him. ‘i was shot.’ no, he wasn’t going to elaborate the how or why — just the simple fact of what happened would have to suffice, ‘—-i haven’t had a good week.’
‘or maybe, i just don’t have the patience.’ not that it mattered to him. ky wanted so badly to make her happy – no, impressed that he could change. the only problem was he couldn’t. not like this and not anytime soon. he was just too stubborn and had far too much of his father in him. ‘restraining myself from doing anything… like murder is hard. even more so when they are just asking for it.’ // @dusttcduskxxx
having someone who actually cared for him was still… new. others had attempted to do so in the past, but simply gave up. he was just a mistake after-all, something that was created as an accident, and having someone who didn’t think that was odd. more to the point, he never really had someone who was a real mother. so, the idea of having someone who cared – with out true judgement or scorn – was foreign to him.
it was to that very reason he didn’t know exactly how to even act around her. behaving was one thing he had never properly learned, but still… he didn’t understand why eve put up with him. yet, he still tried to be… somewhat better. sure, it may not have been working, but he was putting some effort into it… even if it was slim.
‘i’ll try.’ he was going to give off a speech about how he didn’t believe it mattered, but for now, he was going to hold his tongue in check. if not for himself… to try to at least give her some rest from his usual antics. ‘won’t work, but i’ll attempt it.’
going dark was done only when it was needed. no contact with anyone. not until he was healed; it lasted to weeks to a month. maybe more, he didn’t really care about the timing.
the few days was the hardest. scratching at his skin the moment he woke up; something was there that shouldn’t been. he tore at his flesh to get the bullet out, but it had gone right on through. whatever he wanted to get was lodged too deep in – no, it was too painful to get out.
by the end of the first week, he was able to walk with the pain he was in, by the end of the second, it had gone down to bearable levels. by the next, he was able to ignore most of it. drinking nor pills didn’t help and leaving the body he was in wouldn’t do him any good. he didn’t want the one who did this to track him down in another body — nor, did he really have the energy either.
it was a loop and during that time he drank — ran through all his liquor in five days, and now he was finally showing up at her doorstep. he was so foolish, to think that he could contact anyone; his father would laugh, so would anyone else. no, he was here not to demand help, but rather… to plea for it.
‘mom,’ he finally managed to get out as he leaned against the door, ‘i need your help.’
Hellfirebound 