On the warm side – that meant spot on. She wondered just how accurate she’d been despite his further explanation. Maybe she did have answers that he needed, despite the obvious resistance. “No. I don’t think you could have stopped. I think whatever it is that makes you this way, it’s more powerful than something you can overcome with willpower.” She doesn’t exactly empathize with him, but she is sympathetic to his situation. “What it is, what if you had something stronger to fight it. You’d at least be…curious about that. Right?”
“No.” Once upon a time he would have, but Ky didn’t see any reason to even investigating that option. It wasn’t due to what could happen should he go down that road, but rather… he knew that it could quite possibly be fatal. He already had most of Hell hating his guts – then again given his.. position that was obvious ( at least to him ). “I wouldn’t be – this… whatever this is,” he said running his left hand over his face. “Isn’t something that can be cured. No matter how hard wish to try.”
Mary didn’t back away when he moved closer. She’d stood toe to toe with powerful, frightening creatures, and she wasn’t going to be intimidated by his posturing. She’d come prepared and done of course done research on Kylar. “Well, they call you a prince of hell.” A pause, she raised her brows, watching before divulging further. “I’m guessing it would have started slow, like it did with my son. He was a knight o hell.” Her voice was cool and even despite the sting the thought of Dean’s pain brought. “Probably had some anger issues, got in a lot fights. Killed someone. Maybe had a couple times where you slaughtered a lot of people that you didn’t really mean to.” Was she getting warm? Hell, she hoped so. “By then it was something you couldn’t even control. It took over you…like a disease. But you didn’t care. You liked it.”
She was far more than simply warm about what had happened, but it wasn’t entirely the same. The anger, the hate – it was always there. Had been for as long as he remembered. He fought against it, even made sure to run from it, but be it as it may… destiny came either way. That was something no one could deny. Not even him. “You’re on the like warm side of things,” he said, “You think of it in a way that’s black and white, don’t you? Anytime in that… slow progression, I could have changed my ways, or maybe someone could have helped – life isn’t that simple. It’s not black and white… and not a disease.”
His defensive attitude coupled with the way he lashed out confirmed what Mary suspected from the start. He was a perfect candidate for the Winchester family demon cure, though she knew it wasn’t an easy sell. Nor would he ever come willingly, but she’d deal with that later. While she had his full attention, she couldn’t help but prod a little further. “Okay. So then… what are you? Where did you come from?”
“Now, aren’t you a curious one,” he couldn’t hide the amusement that lingered in his tone. “If I was a little younger, I would have out-right answered honestly, but for now?” A chuckle escaped his lips as he took a step closer. “Why don’t you tell me how you assume I came to be an’ if you’re getting warm? Well, i’ll fill in the details, but if you’re wrong?” He couldn’t help the sharp grin that spread across his lips. “I think you can guess what’s next.”
The question didn’t phase Mary and she answered with little consideration. “I’ve spent my life hunting monsters. My humanity is about the only thing that sets me apart from them.” She didn’t know if he could still understand what a powerful asset it was to have a human will to live and fight. Or maybe his reply had been intentionally barbed to hide his true feelings. “I’ve heard some of your kind actually miss your human side.”
“my kind?” he couldn’t help, but scoff at that. “i don’t consider myself a demon.” on most days at least. “nor do i consider myself human – you think your pesky humanity is what sets you apart?” oh, he was getting angry now; his hands even balled into fists to show it. “your kind and yourself are made of mud. sure, you might be flesh an’ blood now, but trust me… i never had a human side to miss.”
Was he really claiming discrimination because he was a monster? Mary had a difficult time accepting that idea but managed to at least stop herself from rolling her eyes at the suggestion. To be fair, she supposed it wasn’t easy with his inhuman condition, but she was sure there was more to the story that he didn’t divulge. “Right, and you never did anything to provoke people, I’m sure.” She paused, giving him a look with lowered brows that told him she already knew the answer. “Have you ever wished you just weren’t a demon?”
“have you ever wished you were more than just a boring human?” he may not have been violent at the moment, but he still could lash back in other ways. more importantly, he couldn’t say he had never provoked anyone – he did it all the time. it was just so easy to get under the skin of humans, demons, and anything else.
Mary pressed her lips together and nodded in understanding. “Daddy issues. I get it.“ She’d wanted a life outside her father’s house and rules too but it was only after his death that she was really able to escape them. She’d heard the thinly veiled threat at her but stayed calm. He hadn’t actually tried to hurt her yet and she wasn’t exactly defenseless. She was willing to press her luck. “But you haven’t killed me. And I don’t think you really want to.” She paused, a discerning look focused on him. “You remind me of my son. Dean. He tends to think the world shits all over him sometimes too.”
it was far more than just issues with his father. though, trying to explain that was much harder than he realized. not to mention far more complicated. she was right though; he didn’t want to kill her. well, at least not yet. eventually, it would happen, but not now. “well, the world’s shit on me more than most — being not entirely human does that to you.” in his mind, it was truth, but that wasn’t the reality of the situation. “… at least in my case.”
Mary wished it were different, that it was possible to make demons play by their rules, or any rules for that matter. It certainly made it hard to gain leverage on them and find their weaknesses. “You always have a choice. If you think you don’t, you’re just too scared of the alternative. So really, the question is, what are you so afraid of if you think you don’t have a choice?” Mary looked at the demon expectantly, tired of the circular conversation and wanting a name.
“There is no alternative.” Or, rather, one that he was willing to accept, but the conversation, as much as it was amusing, was starting to bother him. His choices – if they could eve be called that – were done out of necessity. Not to mention he had made bad deals before… just to see how it would turn out, but that was besides the point, “Sometimes, reality just shits all over you, and you have to face the facts.” Rather, his version of the facts, “The facts are, if I want to do anything… it doesn’t matter if it’s hell or on earth? The best way to be treated as more than just a kid hiding in their father’s shadow is to do things myself and that includes doing whatever is needed… even killing people that might be able to help me.” His final words were firm, but mainly said for a final effect.
The demon was right about humans but Mary wasn’t exactly a normal human. As a hunter, she’d seen and experienced more than the average person and she believed in a hell of a lot more than they did. Plus she was curious who he answered to. The Winchesters had tangled with their share of Hell’s higher-ups and maybe it was someone they had a grudge against too.
“Of course it matters. Whoever you’re working for must have some serious sway if the consequences are as bad as you say.” For the first time Mary’s features soften a bit, not out of sympathy or kindness, but because of the opportunity. “There are always other options.”
Sometimes there were other options, but he didn’t have any. At least working for a crossroads demon was easier than who know’s what else. It wasn’t much, but it was a start, something to keep him off of certain radar’s, and out of trouble.
“Doesn’t matter,” he said bluntly, “Never does for my kind…even if you wish it did.” He may have avoided other demons like the plague, but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t call them his kind when it was the easiest thing to do, “There are no other options. Not when you’re no longer human or… never was to start with.”
The one he worked for. A hierarchy. Mary knew that some demons ranked higher than others, but the details weren’t clear. It’s not like Hell released organizational charts at their quarterly meetings or anything. If this one had information about people above him, he might actually be useful. And that meant she probably shouldn’t kill him.
Disappointment showed in her eyes and in her less than enthusiastic follow-up questions. “Making sure the guy you work for’s happy? And who is that?” Her brows furrowed. Why keep killing and collecting souls if he didn’t care? What leverage did his “boss” have? She had endless questions but settled on just one more. “And why do you have to do his dirty work for him?”
“Does it really matter who they are?” The question, for what it was worth, was asked simply out of habit than necessity, “Humans fail to see what is right in front of them and when they do see it? Well, they either run away, or attempt to rationalize it in whatever way possible.”
Ky’lar had done his fair share of mistakes and he would admit to them. Of course, they were never here nor there, and he doubted that she would enjoy hearing about them. Though, the fact was, that if she was closer to him, maybe he would have revealed something more than just a half-truth, but then again, she was a hunter, and he was well… what she hunted.
“Sometimes, there is no reason to why, but rather, you do it as the other options are less… desirable. Anything before or after that decision is just static noise that means nothing.”
Mary pursed her lips but help back from arguing the difference between living your life, dying a natural death, and getting reaped, and being killed in the name of a demon deal and having your soul dragged to hell. Again, it wasn’t like they’d see eye to eye there either, but what the demon said next struck her as odd. A change of heart? From a demon. She wasn’t aware they even had hearts.
“What do you mean a few years back?” she asked. She already doubted how honest the answer might be but while he was being so candid, she couldn’t help but press him for answers given her curiosity. “So what changed? Because you know what happens to the souls of people you make your deals with.”
“The souls are used as the one I work for see’s fit. Sometimes they are turned into Demons, but that’s rare.” If they were turned, Ky didn’t know about it, and that was how he wanted to keep it. Ignorance was bliss at times.
“As for a few years back?” The man folded his arms firmly over his chest, “I don’t think you need to know. See, I make sure someone’s happy, and if it means handing over a few hundred souls a year? So be it.”
Hellfirebound 