“I get told a lot of things, but I tend to tune things like that out.” The same as being told she was annoying. She’d stopped caring long ago how others viewed her, what they thought of her. What did that matter? Sif had realized that other people’s opinions of her had very little to do with her and a lot more to do with them.
“You’re avoiding the question.”
“— am i now?” it wouldn’t have been the first time he avoided questions being posed to him. nor would it truly be the last. avoidance wasn’t exactly an admission or confirmation of what he’d done. instead, it was simply a way to not directly answer. so, in his mind? it was the perfect way to answer something he didn’t exactly want to.
“if i decide to… let’s say, go on a rampage to wipe out a handful of people? well, i do believe that’s on me. not you, isn’t it?”
“well, to each their own.” even though, he usually ended up trying to kill someone during that time… or what have you. “though, i’ve never done anything wrong – not on asgard.”
“Why do you look like you’re up to no good?” Of course, that begged the question of if a demon could ever really be good, but philosophical debates weren’t really Sif’s thing. Still, she could use some entertainment, and being around Ky’lar was never boring.
“has anyone ever told you that you’ve a knack to point out the obvious? it really can be quite annoying at times.” truth be told, the moment he wasn’t actively up to no good was usually the moment he was planning something. something big – a reason to why he usually caused slight bits of chaos here and there… even if nothing real would come of it.
Sif didn’t quite agree with that, but she could understand his point of view. It solved plenty of problems, she thought, but she supposed that diplomacy solved more. And violence did cause problems, that much was true. Didn’t mean she didn’t like it, though. She enjoyed the heat of battle, letting go and letting loose. Being a Berserker was addicting in some ways. Horrifying in others.
“I don’t think that’s true.” She wasn’t calling him a liar, exactly, but she still didn’t think his words were entirely right. “Perspectives don’t matter. It’s what you think. Even if you didn’t think what you were fighting for was right, you didn’t exactly think it was wrong, either.” Those who fought with no convictions didn’t fight for long. And nobody actively fought for something they thought was wrong. Or, again, not for long.
“Perspectives are decided by the winners. Everyone believes they’re right, or most everyone.” She shrugged. History was written by the victors. What else mattered?
“and sometimes, doing the right things for the wrong reasons does more harm than good.” well, that was one way of putting it. not exactly the best, but not the worst either. then again, had always ended up on the short end of the stick so to speak — he was a mistake in most terms. that meant that while he had some leeway… he always had more on him than he should have.
not that it mattered to him, the best way to do anything was to convince everyone he was doing one thing, and then go for a complete other. it was a distraction, but it rarely worked. at least… when he had attempted to in the past. after-all, he was attempting to find his place… even if it meant destroying everything around him in the process.
“a reason to why i attempt to avoid dwelling on it. i may be many things, but… i attempt to do what’s needed.” or what he wanted, “usually.”
“Often whoever or whatever is right depends simply on whoever or whatever is stronger.” The victors write the history, didn’t they? They decided what was the truth, what was good and bad. She’d seen that for herself time and again. Morals rarely had anything to do with right or wrong. Right, more often than not, came down to whatever benefited those in power.
“It’s all a matter of prospective, really. I try to do what’s right, but that might still hurt someone else.” Either because they got in the way, or they were on the wrong end of whatever that right was. She didn’t often bother with such thoughts. They would go in an endless circle in her head and she’d have no more answers than when she started. It was pointless.
“I fight for my people. For my king, yes, but mostly my people.” And her own glory, of course, but that was lesser. Her people came first. “Nothing is black and white. Right or wrong. They’re naught but pretty words, when it comes down to it.”
“When it also comes down to it, all fighting does is avoid the problems, and usually all it does is cause more.” Not to say that Ky hadn’t done his fair amount of fighting, but it was different than simply that. He would willingly let himself lose control in the fray of things if it meant that he didn’t have to deal with the after effects of coming down from that high.
Of course, it was rare that he ever allowed himself to go out on a rampage, and when he did? It never ended up well for anyone… especially himself, “Either way, I doubt i’ve ever fought for what was right. At least to most perspectives.”
Rather, it was that he fought for what he wanted, and almost always came out the victor as failure wasn’t a choice nor was it an option. It never could be one due to the fact he wasn’t willing to deal with any of his family’s scrutiny afterwards ( or at least wha the would get from failure ).
“It might be easier. Doesn’t make it right. I could never side with a tyrant.” Ironic, considering the fact that many viewed Odin as a tyrant. But Sif didn’t see it that way. Good was good, even if it was harder. Sif might not be good all the time, but that didn’t mean she wanted to be bad.
“Everyone justifies their actions in their head. Believes they’re doing the right thing. And for them, it could be. For someone else…maybe not so much.” It was all a point of view, really. She was evil to those she killed, to her enemies. But was she evil to herself? She thought she was protecting Asgard, but was she just hurting people?
Not questions for her. Things like that didn’t interest her. She was nothing if not simple. She did have some mortality, though, a decent sense of right and wrong. Though some days those terms seemed very childish. “No? Sometimes I don’t think I am either. But I try to do what’s right. Mostly.”
“Perspective. but what is really ‘right’ these days?” It was a question that he knew that anyone would have several answers to. A reason to why he didn’t want to get too deep into the subject, but knew there was no avoiding it. Well, not in his mind at least.
“Live long enough and it’s either the lesser evil or the one that is worse. Either way? It doesn’t matter.” Not to him, “Eventually, someone will say they are doing the right thing, and another will say they aren’t.”
Honestly, he could have gone on all day about this, “Suffice to say, I don’t ever think anything i’ve fought for has been right. It’s just been whatever is needed or what i’ve personally wanted.”
“Or normal will change. That sometimes happens too. People forget. Something else becomes more important.” It was amazing the things people could overlook so long as it didn’t directly affect them. Not that she was much better. But at least she could admit that.
Sif hesitated at that. She saw herself as good, of course, but how hard did she actually try? How much did she enjoy it? She liked fighting, she lived for it, but that was not the same as being good. She could justify that it was all for a good cause, a good reason, but that wasn’t the same as being good.
“The right choices aren’t always the easiest. Or the simplest. Most people fall somewhere in between. It takes dedication to be truly good, or even attempt it. And yes, one mistake can discount a lifetime of good. I don’t think that means we should give up, though.”
❝ between you and me? i’d take the side of tyrants and menaces than anyone else. ❞ and he had, several times over in-fact, but that never meant he was let off easy. the game he played was dangerous, even much more than he would admit, but all the same, it was one that he enjoyed.
❝ ‘course, even the so called ‘villains’ are their own heroes. ❞ that was one way to put it —- they always believed what they were doing was ultimately right. he could relate, but not entirely — morality was always something that seemed to be lost on him.
❝ though, in truth? i’m not what anyone could call good —- not in the slightest.❞
Hellfirebound 