Tag: themonstrovs

_{maybe she was right that he wasn’t a mistake. on the other hand, that was all he’d been told for as long as he could remember; a mistake that shouldn’t have happened nor existed. still, it was rare that anyone ever told him he wasn’t one – was he really? he didn’t know.}

_{‘you say that as if it means anything; i have to deal with reality.’ the one where he’d never truly belong anywhere. the reality where all he did was for nothing  and that he’d always be unwanted. if not by her… by himself.}

^{‘-and that is that no matter what i do; no matter how much i try.’ his voice raised slightly; hands forming into fists. ‘i’ll never get anywhere!’}

_{// @themonstrovs xxxx}

don’t think she never noticed him not calling her some maternal name, or even anything affectionate. she wasn’t sure exactly why she was excluded from being called mother, something her heart ached for, but val’shara never brought it up. ky could be so very like his father, unwilling or unable to discuss, or explain. she had learned that the hard way. person sounded so clinical, cold.

‘ for something, perhaps. not for much. ‘ val’shara pulled her veil back down, so her son wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes. ‘ has your father been criticizing you again? ‘

_{‘does it matter?’} 

_{it was easier to avoid explaining anything. he could try, but in the end, ky didn’t think anyone would truly care. he sealed himself away from everyone -even himself- from the world. he worked towards trying to destroy it… trying to end it. just so he could fill  that void that seemed to be nowhere and everywhere at once.}

_{‘i haven’t seen him in weeks.’}

‘ your dad is a grade a asshole, ky’lar. why you bother taking such strong stock of his opinions is beyond me. i’m fairly certain val’shara would not agree to that. but then again, you don’t much care for her opinion, do you? ‘ lilith’s clawed nails were picking at a wound, idle amusement for herself, to keep her from strangling him. ‘ stop taking your father’s opinion for gold. don’t listen to him. ‘

_{‘i don’t care for anyone’s opinion – not even my own.’ maybe he did care for his father’s – if only so he could obtain what was rightfully his, but that was another story entirely. one, he didn’t quite feel like telling to her for the moment. ‘i just like stating the obvious.’ from a certain point of view, but he’d never admit that – not to himself and most certainly not to her.}

_{he wouldn’t waver from his position; why should he? admitting more would get them nowhere. a reason to why he wasn’t going to do so – not unless he absolutely felt the need to. right now… he did not. ‘i don’t value anyones opinion.’ he did – he craved some acknowledgement for his actions. even being torn down was better than nothing. ‘you should know that better than most.’}

_{// @themonstrovs  xxx}

_{‘ you have a mother. ‘ pointedly. ‘ don’t you ever dismiss her like that. ‘ lilith was particularly protective of mothers; bearing children who didn’t love them, or found themselves ungrateful; it was a sting she knew well, one that got buried deep. ‘ you wouldn’t be here without her. ‘ he had taken the amusement out of playing pretend step-mommy.}

_{he knew he had one; dismissing her was just easier. ky didn’t need anyone – he attempted to prove that time and time again. why should he hold anyone else higher than himself? or maybe he just didn’t understand that point. ‘have you ever thought maybe that would  be a good thing? not to have existed at all – i’m sure  many would  agree to  that. including dear ol’ dad.’}

_{‘you’re still a person.’ human or not – he still called sentient beings people. mainly due to the fact it was easier than calling them titles… or calling her mother. ‘i think that counts for something.’ rather, he thought it did, but his thoughts -personal or otherwise- didn’t amount to much these days… or anytime before really.}

_{// @themonstrovs  xxxx}

_{history repeated itself, over, and over, and over. blackheart’s father beat him, and now blackheart was beating ky. she made a face at him, one that read concern for him, and annoyance for his father. ‘ he shouldn’t be putting his hands on you. ‘ she put her hands down, losing them in the black of her skirts. he knew her house well — the large, haunted victorian mansion that sat on a wooded hill. ‘ there are some bandages and some antiseptic in the bathroom.. ‘}

_{‘whatever,’ he said, rolling his eyes. he long stopped caring – they fought and then he got himself beat. if only he actually cared about training… maybe he’d have a chance, but even a chance was worth nothing when it came to his father. ‘— just  need to wash up.’ he then took a deep breath and paused. ‘i’ll be fine, really.’}

_{he didn’t expect nor believe he needed concern. all ky needed was a place to clean himself up at. once that was done… he’d see how bad it truly was. ‘who do you think?’ he always got into fights – most of the time he won – but when ky got cocky he ended up getting his ass beat. this time it was by his own father and he doubted it would be the last. ‘— i need a shower.’}

 _{// @themonstrovs xxxx}

_{‘ you know what? i’m gonna make it a you problem. ‘ she’s annoyed now, and she just might mean it all. ‘ when the time comes, i prefer the name lilith, over mommy. ‘}

_{‘ yeah, i don’t think you’d want that job. ‘cause at the end of the day? i’d still be that blemish on my father’s record. you… being attached to him wouldn’t make a difference. ’ however, he did lift his hands up to maybe defuse the situation… if only slightly. ‘— i don’t need a mother. i never have.’}

‘ why am i getting so much hate from him, and you? ‘ 

‘ neither one of you want to confront the real issue. what would you have me do with that?

_{‘ what real issue would that be? the part where i don’t need anyone or the part where he wants me dragged home kicking and screaming? ’} 

_{’ i’m not going back – neither one of you can make me. ’}