“then why don’t i believe you?” he asked, head leaning back in the seat. “you always have a choice; isn’t it you who tried to grind it into my skull back then?”
“you know what.”
“i’m being truthful… from a certain point of view.”
“if i recall the last time we talked years ago, all you did was yell at me. didn’t seem very nice then.”
she’s not even sure why he even cares— his dad sure as hell didn’t care about her, and for all she knew, his grandfather barely cared. she could never tell anymore with demonic beings ( but now she was one of them– that really put a whole new spin on her own self-loathing ).
“i got manipulated into being a sacrifice, that’s how. y’happy? i was a naive idiot once again who decided ‘hey, jan’s probably an innocent virgin, let’s use her as a sacrifice to some witches! because obviously, it’s not like she has a life or friends or people she considers family who’d miss her, or anything! let’s just go ahead and kill her! it’ll be fine!’”
he was going to have a whole ‘people can change’ speech, but doubted that it would have done any good. she had been through literal hell and more than likely got worse treatment than most of the souls he’d made deals with. at least ky never got his hands dirty and he had a few deals in place to make things not as bad with people.
though, even that was uncertain — he didn’t know what happened after the people died. nor did he care. it was out of his hands and therefor his control. distancing himself was easier than admitting the truth. after-all, once he just stopped caring… everything became so much easier. for everyone involved.
“back then, you were more -,” he cut himself off with a sigh. “—i thought you finally got what you wanted.” he stayed away, made sure to forget, and then everything decided to come crashing down around him again. maybe it was for the best – he honestly didn’t know as he rubbed at his temples for a moment, “for what it’s worth, you’ve didn’t deserve what you went through..” though, he wouldn’t admit he was sorry for her. so, in truth, that was as good as she was going to get out of him.
“flattery in the midst of pissing me off gets you nowhere.”
“should i go with threats then? maybe rile you up a bit more?”
“no, but it sounds like you do every time you bring that up.”
“you know you’re hotter when you’re angry, right?”
“do you have a death wish, little girl? I sure believe you do, short-stack.”
“oh, bite me. i’m so sick of demons telling me what i do or don’t have the privilege of anymore.”
the emotion behind her response triggered the change in color of her eyes, which immediately got her to avert her gaze and start walking. she couldn’t do this here and now– she didn’t want to become like one of them, but she was already so ANGRY and HURT.
feeling those emotions tore at the edges of the hole where her soul used to be ( it was like poking at a wound that would never heal, and it hurt so fucking much ). it was why she’d told herself that any person or demon she came across from her past ( who only seemed to hurt her back then ) she wasn’t going to be kind.
“——what, there’s actually rumors about me now?”
“if you would like to be bitten, i’m sure i could find a few vampires that would love to do so, but let’s not go down that road.” at least not if he could help it, “i’m trying to be nice here, jan.”
well, it wasn’t exactly ‘nice’, but it wasn’t exactly his per-usual rudeness either. so, he was at least trying to be decent – note trying, and failing all the same. “more to the point,” he continued, “i always wondered how you actually ended up down there.”
then again, ky doubted that she would explain things to him — all he knew was rumors and even then? they were less than accurate or so he believed. “then again, rumors are just rumors — why’d you end up down there anyways?”
Hellfirebound 