“you know you can get arrested for being all drugged out in public, right?”
“you can also get arrested for wearing the wrong clothes, not being tall enough, short enough, or even saying two simple words.” there was a roll of his eyes. “i’ve done more things than simply trying to relax.”
“i wouldn’t trust one either. can’t think off anyone that hasn’t been double crossed by a witch.” she thought the same of demons, briefly, before she remembered meg. then again, technically she had crossed them in the beginning, but in the end had remained pretty faithful.
“witches are complicated. you can get crossed by them easily — they want power or sometimes just chaos.” then again, he didn’t care either. “given enough time, they will betray everyone around them, and they won’t care.” a pause, “not about anyone.”
‘people can be stubborn as hell but it is very rare to keep them alive.’ though he supposed he and bobby were two of the most stubborn hunters that he had ever come into contact with and here they were years past the average life expectancy of their breed. rare for a host to come out alive, but he didn’t think any harm came to demons because of it. ‘think most people end up killin’ themselves anyways… living with that trauma has to be too much to bear.’
‘true.’ the trauma on a body was far more than most people could handle. even ky knew that much – the bodies he went through were damaged beyond normal means of repair. a reason to why he usually made sure the person who owned the body was long gone. that way, there wouldn’t be anyone in there who could… take over if he was too exhausted. ‘it would be better if the demons wiped their hands clean of them before doing anything major.’
“a subset of any population, human, animal, monster… are good at destroying themselves. it is part of the praying mantis mating ritual for the female to eat the male, for cripe’s sakes.” garth didn’t push the question, he wasn’t all that interested if people weren’t dying.
“given enough time, possibly.” there were hundreds of factors that could result in the elimination of an entire race or more to the point species. usually, it was due to the point of human invention, “humanity is the only species that has an unending need to destroy.” among other things.
‘anger is a hell of a lot easier. therapeutic usually, but mostly destructive. still something unavoidable for the most part.’ usually if jody yelled about it she felt a little better. ‘don’t think i’ve ever been an angry drunk.’
‘anger, rage, and hate usually is easier.’ then again, he felt those emotions even when he wasn’t drunk. it was just what came natural for him. ‘then again, emotions are complicated.’
‘taking the risk of sounding like outkast, nothing lasts forever, man. but having the right people around for even a little bit is worth it to me. we all lose everyone in the end, but i don’t think we should trick ourselves into not trying to avoid the inevitable.’ he knew the harvelles would be by his side until the end and he was okay with that. losing people sucked, but it was all part of the experience.
‘having no one is better.’ that way, he wouldn’t have to lose anyone nor did he have to deal with anyone. it might not have been the best way, but at the same time… it was far easier than having to deal with pesky emotions. emotions that he would have avoided if at all possible. ‘might not last forever, but having no one is easier.’
“memories fade with time for normal people… and time in hell is a lot different, i’m told, so it’s not unreasonable they forget. not to mention repression is a great defense mechanism. hell, repressing the good stuff for them is probably a lot more beneficial than us repressing the bad up on this side of the turf.” repression was the motto that most hunters lived by, that most humans that went through anything tragic lived by. ellen could see the appeal of forgetting the good stuff when everything was bad.
“undoubtedly…. and that sucks… but born a monster doesn’t mean you have to stay that way…” she didn’t think that he was a terrible abomination from talking to him, but ellen knew as good as anyone that lies and facades could run deep and could become so believable that even the person putting it on could believe it was true.
“trying to cover up what you are doesn’t change the fact or general idea of what you are underneath. you can dress up a criminal – give them everything they could ever need, but they will always want more. always want to steal or what have you. they will break and go back to old habits.”
he almost wanted to bring up an old story he read as proof that monsters couldn’t – no wouldn’t change, but he wasn’t about to bring that up. no, it just wasn’t worth it. “i can be decent for a time, but eventually, it will all come crashing down on everyone. easier to do what i want and not restrain myself.”
clarissa was convinced that she was wrong, but that didn’t stop her from having to know for sure. there was no way that if jess was alive… and for some reason hiding that from her family that she would happen to be roaming around the town her pediatrician’s convention was in at the same time. “she just… looked so much like my daughter… and i can’t go back home without knowing for sure that it wasn’t her.”
either way, the moment jess found out about this things would become complicated. ky didn’t want so much to protect her – he just wanted to make sure there wasn’t any complications that could make things… difficult for the both of them. “don’t you think… if it was her… she would find you?” doubtful in his mind, but only due to the fact he had several failed relationships with his own family.
‘tastebuds are a fickle thing aren’t they?’
‘they can be.’ at times at least. ‘then again i try to avoid eating when at all possible. too weird.’
“there’s no sort of seniority rule down there? you already went through the torture and got axed up here acting in the name of hell… gotta be able to skip some steps i would think.” he had never thought about it too in depth. the set up of heaven and hell… maybe it would all be easier if people only died when they died. especially if plenty of good people ended up in hell.
“ a name – family or otherwise – can only go so far. eventually, they start ignoring it, and then you’re back on the rack faster than you can say ‘crap.’“ then again, he avoided hell for other reasons. going back there meant facing his family and that… was something he didn’t want to deal with. not now… not ever. “trust me, going back is the last thing I need right now.”
Hellfirebound 